LB Gear

Presenting two all-new t-shirts, destined to propel the forthcoming Giuliani-Paul ticket to greatness:

They’re available in either dark or white versions.

And, if you’re feeling particularly motivated, you can even pick up a coffee mug while you’re at it.

Go RUdy!

That’s right, I’ve finally come out with some new gear — introducing the “Don’t Tickle Me, Bro!” line of T-shirts. A fearless blend of two nauseating cultural catchphrases/cultural references, these shirts would make a great Christmaramakwanzukka gift for the paragon of irony in your life.

Available in both burgundy

…And the perhaps more palette-correct, though less aesthetically-pleasing, white and “fire engine red”.

Remember, these products are parodies and are not to be confused with certain fuzzy licensed characters. You have been warned.

Sorry, y’all, I’ve been busy with all manner of other projects and have let this side of the house falter a bit.

Maybe when WPhone finally launches I’ll have a bit more time.

Yeah right.

Grab yourself a McClane/Bauer ‘08 coffee mug and never worry your pretty little head about world news. Paris Hilton in jail? Iran? North Korea? Chinese imports? Killer bees? The return of pink flamingos?

They’ll take care of it.

Text: “McClane/Bauer ‘08. Come out to the coast, we’ll set up a perimeter.”

Ad copy: “Show your support for the men destined to save Western civilization by downing your morning cup o’ joe in style. Just remember: no wussy creamers allowed. Jack and John drink their coffee black.”

If a t-shirt showing your support for quick, decisive counter-terroristic action isn’t really your style, why not grab a bumper sticker instead?

Text: “McClane/Bauer ‘08. Come out to the coast, we’ll set up a perimeter.”

Ad copy: “Gitmo? Tiddlywinks. Surveillance? You won’t even know what it is ’till they’re in office. They’re lean, mean and looking out for your butt. Vote McClane/Bauer — they mean business.”

If Fred! ThompsonAdmiral Joshua Painter isn’t really your political cup of tea, if you’re looking for a duo that will really give them terrorists something to think about, you could do a whole lot worse than the dynamic duo of John McClane and Jack Bauer. They put the “execute” in “executive branch”.

Get the t-shirt while it’s hot. Get it here!

Text: “McClane/Bauer ‘08. Come out to the coast, we’ll set up a perimeter.”

Ad copy: “We need decisive leadership in America. We need an executive willing to take the fight to the terrorists in a hands-on setting. Who better than the best anti-terrorists of the last 50 years to lead us on a thigh-shootin’, elevator-blowin’ campaign than Jack and John, two men with on-the-job experience and a zeal for justice.”

It’s the Painter t-shirt, in bumper sticker form! Get it here.

Text: “Admiral Painter ‘08. This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.”

Ad copy: “He’s a commander guy, right there on your bumper!”

The Admiral Painter ‘08 campaign t-shirt:

Text: “Admiral Painter ‘08. This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.”

Ad copy: He’s got the command experience, he’s a decider, a real “commander guy” - he’s Rear Admiral Joshua Painter and he’s looking for your vote!

Get it right here.